Flying Hanuman

Today (Wednesday 27 March 2013) Pati and Beebee rode the flying Hanuman.

The Flying Hanuman is a zipline adventure in Phuket, Thailand.  With 28 platforms, two sky bridges, a sky rail,  staircases and rappelling, it criss-crosses a beautiful forest for a one- or two-hour eco-adventure.  Costs range from 3490 baht ($104.70 USD) for Journey A (the complete two-hour course plus a meal and seasonal fruit) to 3250 baht ($97.50 USD) for Journey B (like Journey A but without the meal) to 2300 baht ($69 USD) for Journey C (one-hour, 16 platforms only).

And who is Hanuman?  The ape-like Lord Hanuman is a Hindu god, one of the main characters in the Indian epic Ramayana; he appears also in the Mahabharata.   Hanuman is considered an avatar (incarnation) of Shiva.

Pati and Beebee were picked up at their hotel just before noon and driven to the zipline in an air-conditioned van. The pickup, delivery, and return to the hotel were provided by the zipline at no extra cost (that is, the ride cost rhe same whether or not the transportation was used).The trip each way took about a half hour.

There were 10 people in their group and two guides (Joe and another guide). The other persons were a Russian mother and daughter (who both had Dolly Parton hair and spoke extremely limited English) and six young men from Qatar (best guess, since one wore a t-shirt with the word Qatar on it and they were clearly middle-Eastern) who spoke limited English. The safety briefing video (which appeared to be on YouTube) was in English, and instructions were given in English, except that one of the other guides spoke Russian and briefed the mother and daughter separately.

The first thing to be done was to walk up a steep hill to the first station.  As it happened, Pati and Beebee started out directly behind the first guide (who was leading up the hill) and were able to keep up with him, followed by the Russians. The macho young men, starting up in the rear, started to pass everyone, sharing the narrow path, even walking ahead of the guide. Five of the young men got to the first platform first and took all the seats as the group waited for an earlier group to leave the platform. The group also had to wait for the 6th young man, who had made a last-minute stop at fhe restroom. After the first three platforms (and ziplines), the 6th young man declared that he was sick and left. At this platform, another zipline employee was waiting with bottles of water for everyone. The young men complained that the water was not cold and one of them made a point of expelling water from the top of the platform (perhaps he was mimicking vomiting). He might have been the same one who left.

The young men did as much horseplay as they could get away with and generally did not interact with the rest of fhe group. But as the "ride" progressed and other people  cheered for them also, one or two of them would return smiles.

The guides were competent and joked a lot to put everyone at ease. At some point during the ride, they started calling Pati "Papa"  and they called the Russian mother and Beebee both "Mama." (the Cambodian guide also did this; they seem to be terms of respect.)

At the end of the ride, Pati and Beebee ate the provided lunch (which, by then, was an early dinner) of Thai food. It was delicious. After this, they were driven back to their hotel in a different air-conditioned van.

Then then walked down to the beach to watch the sunset. Then they went back to the hotel to be ready for a 7:45 am pickup on Thursday for a speedboat visit to three islands, Phi Phi, Maya, and Khai.

Angkor Wat

Pati and Beebee arrived in Siem Reap, Cambodia at about noon on Friday, 22 March. They were met at the airport by their guide Chhay (pronounced "Chai" as in Thai tea) and driver Mr. Thom. Chhay was born in 1977 when Pol Pot was in power (readers of this blog might want to review that history). When he was 22, he became a Buddhist priest for seven years. Then he became a tour guide for the next seven years. He is married, with one child aged six. Mr. Thom is actually a medical doctor and practices medicine at a hospital when he is not driving a taxi. He hopes to "break into" the tourist industry by driving a taxi.

Chhay

After the long drive from the airport, they checked in at their hotel and were soon off again for touring that lasted until 8:30 pm.

During this time, they visited Angkor Thom during the (hot!) daylight. They climbed to the top of one tower (40 very steep steps) and found a policeman there who acted as guide and helped Pati and Beebee with their photos. When they were ready to climb down, the policeman wanted to sell them a medalian of some sort. Pati negotiated a price with the policeman (he really didn't want the medalian but the policeman had been very nice) and made the purchase. Later, Pati saw other policemen and realized he had purchased the friendly policeman's badge.
Later, Pati and Beebee climbed to the top of a tall steep hill and watched the sun set on Ankor Wat's towers. On the way down, Chhay told them "Too bad it is cloudy, sometimes this is very nice." After this, they were driven back to the hotel and had 15 minutes for a quick shower before going to a "dinner show" which was a buffet of many delicious Cambodian foods (most of which they didn't even get to try, being too full) followed by a one hour cultural show. Leaving the restaurant at 8:30 pm, they were finally back to the hotel and in bed by 10 pm, planning to leave again at 5 am in order to view sunrise over Angkok Wat.

They left the hotel at 5 am on Saturday and drove to Angkor Wat, where they settled in on a ledge of a library (where the sacred book was kept) to await sunrise. At about 6 am, the sun began to rise behind the towers, and Chhay took them from spot to spot to get the best photos. Coincidentally, one of the best shots was possible because it was March 23, when the sun rises directly above one tall spire.

(Indelible memory: sitting on a ledge of a library at Angkor Wat, waiting for the sun to rise, listening to a serious discussion by a former Buddhist priest about farting as a symptom of the body being out-of-balance)

Pati and Beebee had gotten a boxed breakfast from the hotel ("toast" with jelly and about half of a dragon fruit). Mr. Thom and Chhay drove them to a restaurant where they ate most of this plus ordered an omelet and tea from the restaurant.

After breakfast, they continued their visit of Angkor Wat, as well as visiting Banteay Srei, Kbal Spean, and Banteay Samre. (interested blog readers can Google these places.)

Each time they got out of the car, they were quickly drenched in sweat in the 90+ degree heat and high humidity. Each time they got back in the car, the driver had a cold damp washcloth and a chilled bottle of water for each of them.

Finishing up their touring, they went back to the hotel, had a cooling swim in the hotel's pool, ate dinner at the hotel's restaurant, and went to bed.

On Sunday, fhey slept in until 7 am, had breakfast at the hotel, and were picked up at 9 am. On this day, they finished visiting Angkor Wat, seeing Prah Khan, Neak Poan, Ta Son, East Mebon, Pre Rup, Ta Nei, and Ta Promh. (Interested readers can Google these...). As the day before, they went back to the hotel (at about 3 pm this day) and had a cooling swim. Then they used the hotel's free (except for tip) tuk-tuk to go to Pub Street in Siem Reap, which is a "hip" street with lots of restaurants and shopping, and back to the hotel. They had pizza for dinner, wanting some food that was more bland than the Cambodian food they had been eating.

Several times since arriving in Siem Reap, Pati and Beebee have seen a band playing at various venues. The members of this band (there seem to be many such bands) have all been maimed by landmines set during their civil war. Their purpose is to call attention to these injuries and to raise money to treat those who have been injured.

Another frequent sight is small children selling postcards and other trinkets to tourists. They have learned how to count to 10 in many languages, and flip through their sets of postcards naming all the sights. They are much more endearing than the adult male Egyptian touts. But they too are persistent to the point of harrassing tourists: tourists cannot look in peace at what they have paid to see and have traveled many miles to see. (Tourists pay a large fee to see the ruins, while Cambodian citizens can enter for free.)

Tomorrow Pati and Beebee will be touring outside Siem Reap; this may become a later post.

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An Incredible Day in Bangkok

Some days everything goes right.

 

On Thursday (21 March 2013), Pati and Beebee no longer had the services of a tour guide. They decided to see just what they could accomplish on their own, benefiting from their experiences with their tour guide, Leang.

 

First, they slept in until 7 am, which they had not been able to do yet in Bangkok. After a leisurely breakfast, they decided to visit the large mall Siam Paragon. (Pati needed to buy another memory card for the camera, having filled up two 32-gigabyte cards so far and working on a smaller 16-gigabyte card, while Angkok Wat is still to be visited.) This mall is located on a SkyTrain route, but the SkyTrain does not go through Chinatown, where they were staying. They also wanted to experience the SkyTrain, so they decided to take a taxi to the mall and afterward ride somewhere on the SkyTrain.

 

They arranged with the reception staff (on the second floor of the hotel) to get a taxi to the mall. There is a travel office on the first floor of the hotel building, but it is actually not associated with the hotel. The process is for a receptionist to use a walkie-talkie to call hotel staff that waits on the first floor (street level) to greet arriving guests; this staff flags down a taxi. The street level staff person explained to the taxi driver, who spoke very little English, that he should take us to the mall. Pati and Beebee got in the back seat of the taxi. Beebee observed the taxi driver turn off the meter. She told him to turn on the meter. He touched the meter, it flickered, and went back off. Beebee told him again to turn on the meter. He turned it on finally. (Fares tend to be lower when the meter is used. Otherwise, if a fare is not agreed upon before staring off, the driver can demand a very high fare at the end of the journey.)

 

The driver then asked if they wanted to go to a floating market. They said no, they wanted to go to the mall. He then asked if they wanted to go shopping (he knew a place...). "No need to buy, just looky looky" (he really said "looky looky"). They said no, they wanted to go to the mall. He continued to drive. Beebee got out maps of Bangkok from her purse and opened them, intending to track where he was going. Fortunately, he gave up trying to sidetrack them, and drove finally to the mall.

 

On the way, he took some interesting shortcuts through a police facility and through Chulalongkorn University (fans of Jack Shepherd will recognize the university). For these shortcuts, he first accepted a card from a guard post, drove through the facility, and then surrendered the card again before exiting.

 

Upon reaching the mall, he said get out here. They did.

 

Siam Patagon is an upscale mall with many pretty things to look at but nothing worth lugging around the world. Pati found the memory card he needed in the electronics department of the major department store in the mall.

 

The mall contains a huge theatre complex. All of the movies showing were in English with subtitles. Pati and Beebee decided to watch Olympus Has Fallen. Their two tickets cost about $12 total. In this theatre complex, movie goers must select their seats. As Pati and Beebee sat in their plush seats waiting for the previews to start, it seemed that everyone would be sitting in Row D with them, but eventually Row C and other rows began to fill. All the movies previewed seemed excellent; some of the previews were for movies not in English (that probably won't make it to the US).

 

As the previews finished, a video began (not in English) that featured the current king. Immediately, everyone in the theatre stood up and remained standing until the video ended. It seemed to highlight the good works he has done as king. He is currently 86 years old and in ill health. He has reigned for 68 years, and is listed in the Guiness Book of World Records for the length of time as a ruler.

 

Olympus Has Fallen is an excellent movie.

 

After the movie, Pati and Beebee found their way to the SkyTrain and bought one-day passes. They decided to find Lumpini Park, since it is featured in some eBooks they are reading (Jack Shepherd fans will recognize this reference). It was two stops south of the mall, so they got off there and wandered through the park for an hour or so. Jack Shepherd calls Lumpini Park, near the Dusit Thani Hotel, the one green lung of Bangkok, and he goes there regularly to run. He stays frequently at the Dusit Thani. Upon entering the park, they saw a large group of military officers in riot gear. Fortunately, it was only a training exercise.

 

While in Lumpini Park, Pati and Beebee heard Gangnam Style in the distance. As they walked toward the music, they saw a large group of people in exercise-type clothing performing various routines to peppy music. They learned later that this happens every day at 5 pm.

 

After completing a long circuit around the park, they returned to the entrance. While they were standing there, consulting the map to find the way back to the SkyTrain, a man approached and offered help. He was an American living in Bangkok, he said; it was his home. He lives in Bangkok so that his sons can study languages there, with fees much more affordable than they would be in the US. He explained how to get to the SkyTrain and left when they seemed to understand. As they walked toward the station, he stopped and came back, saying he would lead them there; it was his exercise. He went with them as far as he could, showing them the exact stairs and direction to take. He said the best way back to Chinatown would be by water taxi (the express that Pati and Beebee had taken with Leang on Tuesday) and told them approximately how to find it and where to get off.

 

Three stops after getting on the very crowded SkyTrain, they were off again and found the water taxi. Using another map they were carrying, they figured out which stop to get off on, and barely got off the boat before it left the dock (the press of people getting on made it hard to get off).

 

Consulting the map again, they struck off walking north toward Chinatown. It was dusk when they started walking, and quickly became dark. They were unsure exactly where on their street the hotel was, although they thought they knew where the street was, and it was not a very long street. As it turned out, their map was not up-to-date considering the new construction for the subway, so they became unsure and consulted their map again. At this point, an elderly Thai gentleman stopped and offered help. His English was good. He knew where the street was, and said he was going in that direction. In fact, he passed his real destination (an office) and led them to within one block of their street.

 

Soon Pati and Beebee were back in their own hotel. It had been a good day. They went to Cotton (the hotel restaurant) for their last dinner before leaving. Because they were later than usual, the live band was setting up to play. There were three members: one played clarinet, saxaphone, and mouth harp; one played guitar and was the lead singer; and one played bass. Their performance was excellent, and Pati and Beebee stayed for several numbers after they had finished their dinner. There were only three couples dining during the performance, but the band appreciated the applause they got.

 

When Pati and Beebee finally got up to leave, the clarinet player wai'd Beebee (the wai is a Thai greeting in which a person bows slightly while pressing the hands together as if in prayer). Beebee responded by wai-ing the members of the band. And then they all at the same time wai'd her. It was a lovely moment.

 

And then to bed because the flight to Cambodia was the next day.

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Bangkok Through Leang's Eyes

Pati and Beebee arrived in Bangkok at about noon on Monday (18 March 2013). Having had very little sleep since Sunday morning (and that interrupted by pilot and crew announcements), it was a sleepy day spent walking around Chinatown and eating at the hotel.

They had previously arranged by email (while in India) with a tour company called Thai Tour Guide to take two days of tours. Their guide, Leang, arrived at their hotel promptly at 9 am on Tuesday. Leang is a 20-something young woman who describes herself as "20% Thai, 80% Chinese" since her father is Thai (and Christian) and her mother is Chinese (and Buddist). She has three younger brothers; the next-to-youngest is getting married next January 19th, the most auspicious day for him and his wife-to-be. Leang's English is understandable and she hopes to learn Dutch in order to increase her desirability as a tour guide.

Leang

The daily arrangement was for Leang to buy tickets, food, and anything else necessary during the tour; then Pati would repay her at rhe end of the day, plus her guide fee.

For Tuesday, local travel was used. Upon leaving the hotel, Leang led Pati and Beebee through the narrow sidewalks to the Express Boat pier. Here they caught the boat and rode for two stops, getting off near the Royal Grand Palace and Royal Temple (Wat Phra Kaew, the Temple of the Emerald Buddha). After visiting these, they then visited Wat Pho (the Temple of the Reclining Buddha).

They ate a lunch of Pad Thai at a small local restaurant, eating at a sidewalk table because outside was cooler than inside.

In the afternoon, they took a tour of canals off the Chao Prya river, using a private long tail boat. (The "long tail" refers to the long (more than 10-foot long) drive shaft from a huge car engine sitting on the back of the boat; the shaft ends in a propeller.) During this ride, they passed Wat Arun (the Temple of Dawn).

Disembarking from the long tail boat, they walked to Pak Klong Talad (a Flowers & Vegetables Market). This is a large indoor market that supplies other sellers.

Ending the day's tour at about 5 pm, they caught a tuk-tuk back to the hotel, where Pati settled the day's account.

Dinner was at the hotel's restaurant, named Cotton, which serves delicious hot and sour soup (Pati and Beebee ate it every day as an appetizer).

On Wednesday, Leang picked them up at the hotel and they drove an hour or so to observe lifestyles in the country. On the way, they stopped at a salt farm (a series of ponds where salt is crystalized from salt water and bagged for sale to use for food preservation, but not for table use).

At about 8:30 am, they arrived at the Maeklong Railway Market, a unique local fresh market in Damnern Saduak. The small-gauge railroad tracks run through the middle of this Market. An iron railing runs parallel to the tracks on each side. Vendors with stalls behind these bars pay a higher rental rate than the vendors who sell next to and on the railroad tracks. The train comes through twice a day. An alarm sounds when the train is near. Then the vendors near the tracks lower their awnings back to the iron bars, move their produce from the tracks, and make sure that produce beside the tracks is not so high that the train carriage might hit it. As soon as the train passes (slowly), the vendors raise their awnings and return their produce to the tracks. (Readers of this blog might want to watch some YouTube videos of this process.)

This market and the train passage has become very popular with tourists; they come daily to observe and take photos and videos. There are so many tourists at times that they interfere with the market. Also, some tourists are so eager for photos that they stand in the track directly in the path of the incoming train, which causes problems for the train operations. Leang instructed Pati and Beebee where to stand for good photos without causing problems for the market or the train.

After leaving the train station, they visited a a Floating Market in a private rowing boat, rowed by a strong, cheerful lady of indeterminant age who very thoughtfully provided umbrellas against fhe sun.

Following this, they each had a bowl of noodle soup at a small eatery beside the market. Leang then brought them papaya with sticky rice, a most delicious dessert, as papayas are ripe now.

Driving back to the city, they concluded their tour with Leang at the hotel, ate dinner at the hotel, and turned in for a good night's sleep.

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Ayurveda

Ayurveda means life (ayur) science (veda). It is an Indian medical system that depends on diet, herbs, massage, and oils. While Pati is a sceptic, he wanted to give it a try so he and Beebee went to an ayurvedic clinic in Fort Cochin.
Upon their arrival, the receptionist gave Pati and Beebee a services guide that included pictures of the treatments. They were glad to see the pictures since, otherwise, they would have had no idea what they were asking for. Pati found a row of pictures that included pouring oil on one's forehead. Ever since he observed a minor accident at Jiffy Lube he had wanted to try that. Beebee studied the pictures until she found a row that did not include forehead oil dripping and chose it.
As they were waiting to enter their separate treatment rooms, Beebee told Pati "If I scream, I expect you to come and save me!" When Pati realized she was serious, he said he would. (About half an hour later, Pati realized he hadn't asked Beebee to come save him if he screamed.)
Pati and Beebee entered their separate treatment rooms. Pati's therapist was standing about six inches from him and said "Put you clothes on this hook" pointing to a hook on the wall next to Pati. Pati waited a second for the therapist to leave so Pati could disrobe but it became clear he wasn't going anywhere. Pati was uncomfortable but disrobed to his briefs. The attendant then handed Pati what appeared to be a three inch wide and eighteen inch long piece of crepe paper with a waist string, pointed to Pati's briefs, and said "Those too." (This was the point where Pati realized the "scream protocol" was incomplete.) Pati complied and couldn't decide if he looked more like a sumo wrestler or Baby Huey.
The therapist then sat Pati on a stool and gave him a head and shoulder massage. The stuff the threrapist was rubbing on Pati's head smelled nice and felt OK (but not magical). Aside from the fact that Pati was naked except for a flimsly paper thong, the treatment wasn't too bad. This part of the massage lasted fifteen minutes. The therapist then got a towel and carefully - a little too carefully for Pati's liking - cleaned his feet. After this the therapist produced a step stool and told Pati to use it to climb on a wooden massage table and lie down on his back. With paper thong flapping, Pati did as he was told.
The therapist then massaged the entire front (sans the bit covered by the thong) of Pati's body including both sides of his arms and legs with a liberal application of sandlewood oil. Pati thought "This is pretty embarrassing but at least I didn't have to roll over." The therapist then said "Roll over" to Pati (Pati again wished that he and Beebee had been more careful in developing their scream for help protocol).
Pati rolled over with considerable effort since he found himself more slippery than any fish. The massage continued on Pati's backside, backside included. After about a total of thirty minutes, the front and back massage ended - much to Pati's relief. It was now time for oil to be poured on Pati's head. The therapist again said "Turn over." Pati found this even more difficult than the first time and wondered if this massage was covered by his travel insurance.
When Pati finally flopped over, a second therapist entered the room (great) and prepared Pati for the oil application. The second therapist put plugs in Pati's ears, covered his eyes with something white, and tied a string around the upper half of Patti's forehead (Pati is pretty sure the mechanics at Jiffy Lube do this too). Then the warm oil started flowing from a brass bowl with a hole in the bottom. Pati peeped around the white things covering his eyes and estimated that the bowl would hold about sixteen ounces of oil. After about a gallon of oil had dripped on Pati's head he realized that the therapist team must have been recycling the oil. Eventually the treatment ended.
Pati was pretty oily at this point and looked forward to showering in the small bathroom attached to the treatment room. That was a mistake. After another very careful foot wiping, the therapists walked Pati to the bathroom and sat him on the toilet (lid down - Pati's first break). They then filled a five gallon bucket with extremely hot water and used a large measuring cup to pour the water on Pati, lathering him all the time. They then rinsed Pati and meticulously dried him with towels. Even though - under careful supervision - they let Pati partially dress himself they again carefully wiped his feet, put on his socks, and tied his shoes.
Pati then paid for his and Beebee's treatments and gave all the therapists a nice tip (so they would never do this to him again). At the end he asked Beebee what she thought of her treatment. She said nothing but gave Pati one of her special looks. She then abruptly spun a 540 degree turn on her heels and oiled out the door.

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Photo guru

Pati and Beebee went to the Periyar tiger preserve. The trip involved a boat ride through what appeared to be a man-made lake. Pati had their camera and was taking pictures of birds, deer, and wild boar (nice ride but no tigers or elephants to be seen).
The man in front of Pati said "I don't get here often and I didn't bring my camera. Will you email me your pictures?" Pati actually suspected that the man did not want to pay the 50 Rupees charge to use a camera (Pati didn't want to pay it either but he did along with two special fees for being a foreigner). However, since Pati plans to put his better pictures on a web share sight, he said yes.

Soon the man started pointing out various birds he wanted Pati to photograph. Shortly after that he said "You are too slow with the camera and are missing the moment. Give it to me and I will take them." Pati surrendered the camera. The man admired the camera saying "You need a longer zoom!" Pati noted that the man with his camera was fumbling with it and not quite "capturing the moment" either. After a couple of minutes, Beebee (who had an assigned seat behind rather than beside Pati) said "Where is the camera?" Pati explained and smoke came out of Beebee's ears as it sometimes does (Pati has no idea why). She told Pati to get the camera so that she could take some pictures too. Pati ask for the camera but was sure the man who had it thought she was being selfish since they knew he had forgotten his camera and they had remembered theirs.

While Pati was trying to take pictures around the other passengers who were standing and blocking the "Do Not Stand" signs, a guide came and offered to take photos for Pati and Beebee. Pati agreeded and the guide would go to various points on the boat taking unobscured pictures of the wildlife. He regularly brought them back to show Pati and Beebee. Pati noted that the guide used the many settings on the camera with ease. In fact, Pati knows more about his camera now than he did before the ride. After the boat ride had ended, Pati and Beebee asked the guide if he would like them to email a copy of the pictures he had taken. At first, he said no because he didn't have a computer. Then he thought of an email address of a friend who might accept them for him. Pati and Beebee copied the address and gave the guide what they hope was a nice tip. Since no one else was tipping and the guide seemed both embarrassed and happy, it probably was a good tip.

Periyar Guide

After Pati and Beebee got off the boat, Pati looked for the man in the seat ahead of him to get the address he would like the pictures sent to. Pati couldn't find him but was strangely unconcerned. Later -- on the drive home -- their driver, Simon, suggested they stop at a coffee plantation for a drink. Pati has learned to say yes to about everything so he said "Yes." They climbed a steep metal ladder to a shop on the second floor. When they got to the top, they found that the shop keeper was a twenty-something American looking blond girl. She had the full San Francisco from the flowers in her hair to the anklet ring of bells that jingled when she walked. Pati said "Are you from around here?" She said no and asked if Pati and Beebee would like to hear her say something in her native language so they would know where she was from. Pati has learned to say yes to about anything so he said "Yes." The flower girl shopkeeper then said "Dingle fingle pringle bingle " or words to that effect. Pati and Beebee blinked so she said "Dutch."

At that instant the man who sat in front of Pati on the boat climbed in (out of all the gin joints...). He asked who the shopkeeper was and the flower girl said she was. The man said he had a headache and wanted coffee. The waitress kindly offered him an aspirin and asked if he would like some water. He said yes but he wanted tap water (a.k.a. the free stuff). He took the aspirin and turned to Pati --who again found himself setting behind the man -- and asked what an aspirin is. Pati and Beebee assured him that it cures headaches. After taking the aspirin, the man went to the flower girl -- who gave him the free aspirin with the free water -- and demanded to know why his coffee was taking so long. Pati admired the man's easy way with people!

Pati then asked the man if he was the fellow on the boad who asked for a copy of the pictures. After examining Pati like a bug, the man eventually said yes (since they were among the very few non-Indians on the boat even Pati thought that should be a simple question). The man gave Pati an email address and said Pati only needed to send the forty or so best shots as attachments. Pati said "Would a link to a web site be OK?" The man said "No, that would be too much trouble for me, just send the pictures as individual email attachments."
The conversation then turned to Pati and Beebee's travels. The man explained they were pretty much a waste of time since they had not made a detailed study of Indian history before their trip. "What a wonderful man!" Pati thought. He wondered if he could -- by paying a large sum -- have the man be their guide and share more of his wisdom. Unfortunately, Beebee said it was time to go.

The next day, Pati and Beebee spent the day on a houseboat in the Kerala backwaters. Soon after the trip started, Beebee saw the man leaning out of a smaller boat taking their picture! Pati was very pleased and wanted to see if the man would join them for a further sharing of his wisdom. Unfortunately, smoke started coming from Beebee's ears again. Pati turned to make sure her hair did not catch fire. When he turned back, the man was gone. What a lost opportunity.
(Except for the smoke, all of this is true.)

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A Fawlty Towers Moment

Pati and Beebee are staying two nights at a nice resort in Madurai. After arriving at about 2:30 pm without stopping for lunch, they "had the rest of the day free" (tour-speak for nothing else planned) to have a late lunch, wander about the property, and relax in their suite.

The restaurant is a large, simple-yet-elegant room with all dark wood furnishings. Pati and Beebee were greeted by a lovely hostess (let's call her Polly, although that probably isn't a common name for a resident of Tamil Nadu) and given their choice of tables. She then brought them the menus, one with many pages of Indian foods and one large laminated card with Italian food. Pati and Beebee were ready for some comfort food and decided to order two personal-sized pizzas from the Italian menu. They settled on a veggie pizza and a pork sausage pizza (the Fairfax County health nurse didn't say anything about pork...) and waited for the waiter to arrive to take their order.

On cue, the waiter (let's call him Manuel, although that probably isn't a common name here either) arrived and said, in English, "Are you ready?" Pati and Beebee said "yes." Manuel then collected the menus and walked away.

Pati and Beebee sat in shocked silence, unsure what had just happened. It seemed certain that no food could arrive if no food was ordered. After a few minutes, they caught the eye of the hostess and explained what had happened. She, in turn, wanted to be sure that it was a waiter that took the menus. Perhaps she did not know the word "waiter" but this remark was in keeping with a Fawlty Towers theme.

The hostess then personally attempted to take the order for the pizzas. This was clearly not in her job description, as she was unfamiliar with the Italian menu, but she tried valiantly. At this point, it was unclear just what would come out of the kitchen, but hungry people will eat what is set before them.

Faster than any pizza place in the US, two small pizzas arrived, a veggie and a pork sausage. They looked good and tasted good. The only surprise was that the "pork sausage" appeared to be sliced Vienna sausages. At least if it came out of a sealed can, it shouldn't cause food poisoning.

Hungry people will eat what is set before them.

Written Monday 11 March 2013

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